Up late…Mind racing..
so i had a conversation today… with someone who doesn’t really know me that well..
she knows i’m queer
knows i am in love with my gf
and knows we work for the same company…
i shared something with her that not many people outside of my girlfriend and some extremely close friends know…
and well now the cyber world will know… i’ve considered fully transitioning… but right now i’m looking into it heavily…
i love myself.. but i have a poor self image… i don’t like my body… or the way it looks
now seeing as that i was just in the hospital in late August of 2011 i have had every blood test known to man run on me and was given some very shocking but kinda awesome news…
typically they measure the levels of naturally occurring testosterone in the bio female body on a scale of 5 to 45… ya boi’s results came back as a 69!!!
awesome ass number if i do say so myself… they put me on a medication that was supposed to decrease this… it was supposed to help “regulate my cycle” and “decrease the growth of my facial hair”… not that i ever said my faicial hair was a problem for me…
So its like i feel i have a leg up in this journey already… like… hell i’m naturally producing “too much” of this hormone that i will eventually/possibly have to inject into my body…
why not use what i already have and see if that’s already enough? why not just commit to getting my body the way i want it?
I haven’t found the energy that i need to commit to making my body appear the way i want it to…
i need that spark of inspiration… i need that motivation… i need direction… and i need support…
